Vertigo

So some of you might think: "What's vertigo?", and it's actually quite simple. Vertigo is the medical term for dizziness.  Ever since i was 2 (20 years ago) I have had Vertigo. Everyone experiences Vertigo at some point, but for me it has always been different. When i was younger i would have a vertigo seizure every other month on the spot. I would get so dizzy i couldn't walk, or even stand. I couldn't really open my eyes, and within 5 minutes i would begin to throw up. Every little change would make it worse, whether it would be movement, light or sound. People who has seen a seizure has been very frightened, and not really figured out what to do. Luckily I usually always had a close friend or a family member around to explain and help me. these seizures last for 3-4 days, where i will gradually get better day by day. In addition to that i have to take it easy for 1-2 weeks to make sure i don't relapse. So of course this has always been very annoying, even terrifying for me. But always manageable. 
When I hit puberty the "pattern" started to change. I would get more often sick, but I would have less seizures. So I always had to be a lot more careful when I did sports etc, because if i were in too much activity, and i was feeling bad, i would get a full blown seizure. Like I said, I was (and still am) terrified of having a seizure. I feel like I am losing myself, like falling into a dark hole. This feeling is painful but not in the common sense. Unfortunately i can't describe it better than that.. This feeling also comes in waves, sometimes weak, and growing stronger, or it just hits me like a tidal wave.. It all depends on movements, sound and light..
One and a half year ago i went on an around the world trip with my boyfriend. That's when everything started to change. I got more and more often sick.. I would only feel well for 1-2 weeks, and then i would be sick for 2-3 weeks at the time. Not a full blown seizure, but enough for me to stay in bed or not leave the house..
So the around the world trip was not as fun as I thought it would be, even though i experienced a lot and had a few good times. But it was a really difficult time for me. Luckily I had my boyfriend there with me, and even though this was the first time he experienced this, he took it very well, and is probably the person who understands it the best. Him and my dad are the ones that understand it the most, and usually known exactly what to do. 
When we returned from our trip, i was amazingly good for 2 weeks, and i thought everything was going back to normal. Then all of the sudden i got really sick again, and it never went away.. Since February 2010 i have had chronic vertigo. I had to watch every move I make, I couldn't be around loud noises too much, or in too much activity. I had to wear sunglasses to go outside, even if it wasn't sunny, and I were nauseous 70% of the day. In the beginning i couldn't even leave the house, and I was barely out of the couch/bed. I got really depressed, and didn't know what was in store for me anymore. I couldn't work, i couldn't study I couldn't even do simple housetasks, and most of all I couldn't do anything i considered fun anymore... I was really really down.
Luckily i got gradually and very slowly better. About 3 weeks ago, suddenly felt 100% again. it was the first really good day i had had since February. So that day i went on a cleaning spree, and it felt really good! And i HATE cleaning. But just being able to do something again felt so good. After that day it has been very up and down, but mostly up. Finally i feel like I it's going my way, and I will get a lot better. I don't really believe i will ever be cured, but I hope i will at least go back to the way it was.. After Christmas i will try and go to the gym and start exercise again. Hopefully i will be able to exercise without getting too sick, and that way get my body strength back, and more endurance towards my vertigo.


Well I tried to make this "readable" and i could have gone deeper, but for now this is going to have to due.. if there is any questions feel free to leave a comment :)